J'accuse!

I loved church. I loved everything about it. The music, the majesty, the stories of saints, the candles, the incense, God, everything. And I was a child who was profoundly touched by it all. I never really questioned or challenged until my 30s. Mostly, if I judged something about church law to be unjust, I'd rationalize it or seek the theological meaning that justified it. I'd ignore the "law" and cling to the "spirit of the law." Finally, I realized that Jesus of Nazareth and his teachings were constantly betrayed by the men who interpreted them (and Christian doctrine) to suit all kinds of flawed human motivations. I understood that human beings construct religion and that since religions emerge within particular social and historical and political environments, the men who shaped religion instituted their own views and taught them as if they were God's.

 

When I began to read feminist theology and feminist biblical analysis there was one name that was ubiquitous. Over and over again she would be referenced, so I began to read her books.

 

Part of the journey to Harvard Divinity School began when I enrolled in a Special Topics course at the University of Rhode Island (affectionately known as "U-R-Hi" by its alums). I didn't need it to complete my Bachelor's degree, which I was pursuing part-time, but I took it anyway because the topic was women's issues in theology (at URI no less!). The teacher was a woman in her 60s who had recently (this is 1989 we're talking about here) received her Masters in Theology at HDS. Annie listed one of that woman's books in her required reading list; Elisabeth Schussler-Fiorenza, an internationally recognized feminist theologian and New Testament scholar. I cannot describe how brilliant this woman is, how I devoured her work, how I admired her courage and her scholarship.

 

Elisabeth Schussler-Fiorenza teaches at Harvard Divinity School. I decided to apply. I applied to only one school and I decided that if I did not get in, well THEN I would begin to look at the other schools in Boston. The unthinkable happened. I was accepted. I would actually be able to study with one of my "she-roes.' And not only that, but the summer before I was to begin classes, I received a letter from HDS that Elisabeth had been assigned to me as my advisor. I began my three-year program in 1991.  

 

Her influence on me is immeasurable and indelible. What she taught me, I teach my students. To study with her was an honor and a tremendous gift.

There were other professors there also whose example and wisdom I will always hold in my being because they have shaped who I am; Richard Niebuhr, Ralph Potter, Elizabeth Spellman, Helmut Koester, Margaret Miles, Francis Fiorenza.

 

But Elisabeth was something special.

And it all began with a simple and generous sentence uttered by a woman in a dusty office at the Providence extension of the University of Rhode Island. She is a constant reminder to me of how a single word or gesture can completely transform or change another's life.

 

Through that education and through an examination of myself I came to understand the teachings about women in the church and many other things that seem to me to be a contradiction to the life of Jesus of Nazareth and his message; the very opposite stance from a commitment to justice. I find it a constant source of irony that ultimately it IS the Catholic Church that taught me about love and compassion, justice and divine things and ultimately is has been my Catholic upbringing that has allowed me to turn, to point my finger at IT and to shout, "J'accuse!"